Today is a hard day for me. 17 years ago my oldest was born, he was the most beautiful baby. He has chosen to not speak to me for the last several years. He is mad at me for having BiPolar disorder. I can understand his anger and frustration, it still really hurts. To make today a sad day 4 years ago my baby sister passed away. I sit here stuggling with emotions not knowing whether to be happy or sad. I will be stronger as time goes on, but today I can't be strong.